Monday, November 24, 2008

This is your Arm at the Allergist...

Chris & I joke about how he's like Bruce Willis from the movie Unbreakable (can't get hurt, never gets sick) and I'm the opposite, more like Sam Jackson's character, Mr. Glass, facing the threat of death at every turn with impossible fragility. Chris hasn't seen a doctor since 2000, but since then, I've had three visits to the ER and spent thousands in asthma medication, allergy meds, antibiotics, ulcer meds, and cold meds.

Due to recent breathing problems, I finally contacted an asthma/allergy specialist. This week I was administered the initial tests for environmental allergies (all skin tests). This required that I have 48 various oils pricked onto my arms (24 on each arm) & 6 needles put into my right bicep. Each spot tested a different substance to see how my skin would react.

The results were so absurd that when the doctor stepped out, I grabbed my phone to photograph the ridiculousness. Does this look awful? This arm contained tests for animals and other critters. Welcome to my absurd world. And screw you Mr. Unbreakable.
My scores on a sampling of the tested subjects:
  • House dust, rabbits, and feathers = suprise, you're allergic.
  • Cats, hamsters, orchard grass, ragweed = ooh, you're doubly allergic.
  • Dogs, horses, and RATS! = aaahhh run and hide, you're at level 3!
  • Mice = Have you ever looked at a mouse? I'm suprised you survived. (I'm so glad we have a cat).
Final Results: Do not go outside, and make your place of residence a glass box.

Where did I pass the test with no reaction? Cockroaches. Sweet sweet Bronx, you did me well.

2 comments:

mediterranean sea salt said...

I read this article last week and thought of you - and I didn't even know about the allergy testing. Bring on the cockroaches.
http://thephoenix.com/Providence/News/72439-A-self-help-guide-for-the-uninsured/

Amy Leigh. said...

Remember the hospital visit for my eye? 10,000 pieces of paperwork later, the hospital covered the bill. Sweet sweet providence.
...and I'm thinking cockroaches aren't allowed into RI. Very cool.